Mothers who originally choose to get a c section are often convinced to do it the natural way, as in counselled out of it. Grown women are not even trusted to make decisions with their own bodies (sound familiar? see -abortion laws).
I'm in that 30 something stage of life where the majority of my peers are married, popping out kids while some are travelling the world or working in amazing careers.
My instagram account is flooded with everything natural, natural foods, natural childbirth (though not in graphic detail-thankfully), natural breast feeding. Natural medicine. Natural mineral make up.
I had recently congratulated a friend of mine as his wife had just had a baby three days before. He was super stoked and of course very proud of his wife and newborn.
'I'm so proud, she gave birth naturally with a 24 hour labour, without any drugs at all' he quipped. 'They offered to induce her and give her an epidural but she refused'.
Another friend had a similar post on her instagram:
'Just had my baby in three hours, #naturallabour #naturalbirth'
I was incredibly happy for them. Yes childbirth is an accomplishment and an experience regardless of which way women do it. We are superwomen.
In my mothers group this trend towards natural birth was prevalent, with a mother voicing her regrets for having to go through a c section. Her baby boy was breech and she refused to get the c section. Even putting her child at risk to avoid getting one. Eventually her waters broke and she had to rush in to get the c section anyway. An emergency one. Her baby was in distress.
Kate Winslet famously didn't want to admit she had a c section with her daughter and later came out with the truth.
The World Health Organisation is pushing (no pun intended) for natural births and breast feeding.
Mothers who originally choose to get a c section are often convinced to do it the natural way, as in they are counselled out of it. Grown women are not even trusted to make decisions with their own bodies (sound familiar? abortion laws).
There was something slightly irking me though about these natural birth posts and I couldn't put my finger on it. Originally I had put it down to maybe a twinge of jealousy. Maybe I had wanted to have that 'natural experience'.
Then it hit me.
Would it have been a big deal if his wife had wanted the epidural? or heaven forbid, had a not-so-natural but clinical c section? or what if she had needed forceps or a vaccuum? or had to be induced?
When people say things like that, although they may not mean any harm. It can sometimes unintentionally shame women who didn't have a 'natural birth'. As though they are somehow inferior because their bodies didn't do it the way they are 'supposed to'. Like It's something that can be controlled.
In this day and age there is a trend for everything to be natural. We want organic food. Natural births. Paleo diets have taken off. This natural craze is getting a little out of control and under qualified people are now dishing out advice on what foods to eat to cure cancer etc. Cough* Belle Gibson.
But lets get real here. Giving birth naturally is great. But natural can be overrated. You know what else is natural? wisdom teeth. And taking a dump.
This push for what's natural can be harmful and even dangerous. And may not work for everyone.
You will be judged all your life on your choices. But the category of persons that will be judged the most is women. Women will be judged on things they can't control. Their birth stories. Their weight. Their hair. Their face. They will be judged if they don't bounce back to their pre baby weight. They will be judged if they do. The worst part is that we as women are not even trusted with our own bodies to make choices.
I even remember the midwife judging me for the c section too. Minutes after the c section surgery as I lay in recovery all tubed up and drugged up. She looked more confused than I was (and I was VERY confused).
'Why did you have a c section, didn't you want to do it naturally?'
I meekly explained that my baby was breech.
'Why didn't they turn it?'
'I-I don't know'.
Seriously. I don't know. It was never put to me as an option. And FYI even if I chose to do it via c section. It's my body not yours.
Other people reacted in ways that I didn't think they would. I explained to one friend that I had to get a c section and her reaction was:
'I'm SO sorry'.
Umm. It's a common operation and no one died.
'You had it easy' said another.
I'm sorry. What? They cut me open and I didn't die. As far as I'm concerned. I'm a warrior. I'm not ashamed of my c section now. I was at the time. I'm now ashamed that I felt ashamed of it.
Maybe it's time for me to have one of those social media cuts.
My instagram feed needs a cut, or a c section it would be a 'natural' cleanse for my self esteem.
I'm in that 30 something stage of life where the majority of my peers are married, popping out kids while some are travelling the world or working in amazing careers.
My instagram account is flooded with everything natural, natural foods, natural childbirth (though not in graphic detail-thankfully), natural breast feeding. Natural medicine. Natural mineral make up.
I had recently congratulated a friend of mine as his wife had just had a baby three days before. He was super stoked and of course very proud of his wife and newborn.
'I'm so proud, she gave birth naturally with a 24 hour labour, without any drugs at all' he quipped. 'They offered to induce her and give her an epidural but she refused'.
Another friend had a similar post on her instagram:
'Just had my baby in three hours, #naturallabour #naturalbirth'
I was incredibly happy for them. Yes childbirth is an accomplishment and an experience regardless of which way women do it. We are superwomen.
In my mothers group this trend towards natural birth was prevalent, with a mother voicing her regrets for having to go through a c section. Her baby boy was breech and she refused to get the c section. Even putting her child at risk to avoid getting one. Eventually her waters broke and she had to rush in to get the c section anyway. An emergency one. Her baby was in distress.
Kate Winslet famously didn't want to admit she had a c section with her daughter and later came out with the truth.
The World Health Organisation is pushing (no pun intended) for natural births and breast feeding.
Mothers who originally choose to get a c section are often convinced to do it the natural way, as in they are counselled out of it. Grown women are not even trusted to make decisions with their own bodies (sound familiar? abortion laws).
There was something slightly irking me though about these natural birth posts and I couldn't put my finger on it. Originally I had put it down to maybe a twinge of jealousy. Maybe I had wanted to have that 'natural experience'.
Then it hit me.
Would it have been a big deal if his wife had wanted the epidural? or heaven forbid, had a not-so-natural but clinical c section? or what if she had needed forceps or a vaccuum? or had to be induced?
When people say things like that, although they may not mean any harm. It can sometimes unintentionally shame women who didn't have a 'natural birth'. As though they are somehow inferior because their bodies didn't do it the way they are 'supposed to'. Like It's something that can be controlled.
In this day and age there is a trend for everything to be natural. We want organic food. Natural births. Paleo diets have taken off. This natural craze is getting a little out of control and under qualified people are now dishing out advice on what foods to eat to cure cancer etc. Cough* Belle Gibson.
But lets get real here. Giving birth naturally is great. But natural can be overrated. You know what else is natural? wisdom teeth. And taking a dump.
This push for what's natural can be harmful and even dangerous. And may not work for everyone.
You will be judged all your life on your choices. But the category of persons that will be judged the most is women. Women will be judged on things they can't control. Their birth stories. Their weight. Their hair. Their face. They will be judged if they don't bounce back to their pre baby weight. They will be judged if they do. The worst part is that we as women are not even trusted with our own bodies to make choices.
I even remember the midwife judging me for the c section too. Minutes after the c section surgery as I lay in recovery all tubed up and drugged up. She looked more confused than I was (and I was VERY confused).
'Why did you have a c section, didn't you want to do it naturally?'
I meekly explained that my baby was breech.
'Why didn't they turn it?'
'I-I don't know'.
Seriously. I don't know. It was never put to me as an option. And FYI even if I chose to do it via c section. It's my body not yours.
Other people reacted in ways that I didn't think they would. I explained to one friend that I had to get a c section and her reaction was:
'I'm SO sorry'.
Umm. It's a common operation and no one died.
'You had it easy' said another.
I'm sorry. What? They cut me open and I didn't die. As far as I'm concerned. I'm a warrior. I'm not ashamed of my c section now. I was at the time. I'm now ashamed that I felt ashamed of it.
Maybe it's time for me to have one of those social media cuts.
My instagram feed needs a cut, or a c section it would be a 'natural' cleanse for my self esteem.
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