Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours...unfortunately we do not always get them.
My husband and I upgraded from a one bedroom apartment to a townhouse (still renting of course - this is Sydney and I'm not a millionaire). This is not one of those articles where I complain about property prices and how I can't afford them because I eat smashed avocado. Mmm smashed avo...
I am actually happy with the new place, yes the rent is more expensive but I always count myself lucky that I have a roof over my head.
One week after we moved in. I parked my car across the street from the new place.
A middle aged male neighbour was standing outside his house having a cigarette. He started walking towards my car and leaned over the window.
I thought naively, that he must be welcoming me to the new place? I am his new neighbour after all maybe he just wants to say hello?
Then again this is 2017...manners aren't as prominent as they used to be. I shouldn't be so optimistic. I should lower my expectations.
He blew out the cigarette smoke and said:
'Hi, can you park over there?' he pointed to a blank spot directly outside my place. No introduction, no 'welcome to the neighbourhood' from this one.
It was two metres away.
I was stunned.
'You see, I have five cars and my wife likes to park here.' (five cars? nice to know he is doing his bit for climate change).
'Does your wife have a problem, parking over there?' I gestured to the place he wanted me to park.
'Just move your car.'
Now I want to say that I retorted something smart back. Unfortunately I was a little bit intimidated by this man and I was alone. I complied with what he wanted, which included a three point turn.
I turned the car around to the spot he wanted me to park in. However, as soon as I parked it there. Something in me just went off.
'Did he just tell me where to park? No one tells me where to park! this is a public street' I thought to myself.
So I waited until this neighbour was indoors, turned the car around and parked in the original spot, got out quickly and ran to the house.... because I am passive aggressive like that.
Since then, we have noticed that this particular neighbour will place witches hats on the side of the road that he wants to reserve for his family's parking.....I wish I was joking. His son even does this as well.
The thing is our street always has plenty of parking, I have since seen his wife and son. Neither of them have a disability or any reason why they need to park directly in front of their house. He just believes that the street parking somehow belongs to them and he cannot bear to have anyone in his family walk 2 metres further than they have to. (You see.. he is doing his bit for the obesity epidemic too).
We have had female friends come over and park in his little 'turf' (or what he perceives to be his turf) and he has no hesitation in staring them down while smoking.
What grates on me the most is that my husband has parked on 'his turf' and he NEVER says anything to my husband. I really believe that because I am a woman he thought it was ok to bully me into parking wherever he wanted me to.
Sexism can really manifest itself in subtle ways.
I have since considered sending him some helpful pamphlets on climate change..and the obesity epidemic, again, because I am passive aggressive like that. Of course, I don't do this in real life but I have to admit ...it's fun to think about it.
I don't let him intimidate me too much and I have no hesitation parking in front of his house if there are no spots.
Girls do not let anyone bully you or tell you what to do. There are men out there who unfortunately see us as these meek little things who will comply with what they want. That somehow public space doesn't belong to us.
Stand your ground and don't be intimidated. If you are not the aggressive type remember you can always be the passive aggressive type. Results will vary.
xx
My husband and I upgraded from a one bedroom apartment to a townhouse (still renting of course - this is Sydney and I'm not a millionaire). This is not one of those articles where I complain about property prices and how I can't afford them because I eat smashed avocado. Mmm smashed avo...
I am actually happy with the new place, yes the rent is more expensive but I always count myself lucky that I have a roof over my head.
One week after we moved in. I parked my car across the street from the new place.
A middle aged male neighbour was standing outside his house having a cigarette. He started walking towards my car and leaned over the window.
I thought naively, that he must be welcoming me to the new place? I am his new neighbour after all maybe he just wants to say hello?
Then again this is 2017...manners aren't as prominent as they used to be. I shouldn't be so optimistic. I should lower my expectations.
He blew out the cigarette smoke and said:
'Hi, can you park over there?' he pointed to a blank spot directly outside my place. No introduction, no 'welcome to the neighbourhood' from this one.
It was two metres away.
I was stunned.
'You see, I have five cars and my wife likes to park here.' (five cars? nice to know he is doing his bit for climate change).
'Does your wife have a problem, parking over there?' I gestured to the place he wanted me to park.
'Just move your car.'
Now I want to say that I retorted something smart back. Unfortunately I was a little bit intimidated by this man and I was alone. I complied with what he wanted, which included a three point turn.
I turned the car around to the spot he wanted me to park in. However, as soon as I parked it there. Something in me just went off.
'Did he just tell me where to park? No one tells me where to park! this is a public street' I thought to myself.
So I waited until this neighbour was indoors, turned the car around and parked in the original spot, got out quickly and ran to the house.... because I am passive aggressive like that.
Since then, we have noticed that this particular neighbour will place witches hats on the side of the road that he wants to reserve for his family's parking.....I wish I was joking. His son even does this as well.
The thing is our street always has plenty of parking, I have since seen his wife and son. Neither of them have a disability or any reason why they need to park directly in front of their house. He just believes that the street parking somehow belongs to them and he cannot bear to have anyone in his family walk 2 metres further than they have to. (You see.. he is doing his bit for the obesity epidemic too).
We have had female friends come over and park in his little 'turf' (or what he perceives to be his turf) and he has no hesitation in staring them down while smoking.
What grates on me the most is that my husband has parked on 'his turf' and he NEVER says anything to my husband. I really believe that because I am a woman he thought it was ok to bully me into parking wherever he wanted me to.
Sexism can really manifest itself in subtle ways.
I have since considered sending him some helpful pamphlets on climate change..and the obesity epidemic, again, because I am passive aggressive like that. Of course, I don't do this in real life but I have to admit ...it's fun to think about it.
I don't let him intimidate me too much and I have no hesitation parking in front of his house if there are no spots.
Girls do not let anyone bully you or tell you what to do. There are men out there who unfortunately see us as these meek little things who will comply with what they want. That somehow public space doesn't belong to us.
Stand your ground and don't be intimidated. If you are not the aggressive type remember you can always be the passive aggressive type. Results will vary.
xx
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